


Day 19: In Formal Wear

by MajestyTime



Series: 30 Day OTP challenge (Asheiji) [19]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ash Lynx Lives, Canon Compliant, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Marriage, New York City, Post-Canon, Reunions, Suits, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 06:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21094991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajestyTime/pseuds/MajestyTime
Summary: A year after Ash's death, Eiji comes back to New York City for Max and Jessica's wedding, and his heart bleeds open all over again.





	Day 19: In Formal Wear

When Eiji found Max and Jessica's wedding invitation in the mail, his first instinct was to throw the fancy golden and silver paper in the trash. Seeing the beautiful lettering and formal words ripped open the gash in Eiji's heart, making him bleed even harder. It had been a little over a year since Ash's death, and things haven't been easy for Eiji. When he found out that Ash had been stabbed and killed at the library he so cherished and loved, it felt like a cruel joke. Eiji had wanted to go back to New York City and see for himself whether or not it was true. Unfortunately, Eiji's family wouldn't let him go back because he was still recovering from his gunshot wound, and nothing pissed him off more. He screamed, he shouted, and it was only when he finally noticed the shocked and concerned expressions of his family did he stop being so aggressive. After that, he gave up going to New York City, at least, until his wound healed properly.

But the gunshot wound had healed months earlier, and yet Eiji still couldn't bring himself to go back to New York City. Thinking of that wretched metropolis made him feel sick. He loved New York City because he had met Ash there, and he hated New York City for taking Ash away from him. It wasn't fair, but New York City was place of chaos and corruption, and it had no sense of conscience or guilt.

It was Ibe who convinced Eiji to attend Max and Jessica's wedding with him. They were eating a late afternoon lunch together after finishing up a photoshoot for a magazine. Snow was gently drifting down outside of the restaurant window.

"You won't be alone," Ibe had said, his expression and voice gentle. "I'm going, too. And Jessica and Max invited you because they care about you. They've been asking me about you whenever either of them call. Going to their wedding will give them peace of mind, and maybe seeing them will give you a sense of closure."

Eiji had stayed silent, the gray and foggy thoughts swirling around in his mind as a misty whirlwind. He didn't want to accept Ash's death, but what other option is there?

So, Eiji ended up agreeing. It was springtime, and he and Ibe had just landed in New York City after taking a 15 hour flight from Izumo. While he was on the plane, Eiji had stared out of the window, his brown eyes dull and frozen over. As the cab drove them through the crowded streets, towards their hotel, seeing all the streets made Eiji's throat close up. He could feel the rush of emotions and memories crash around in his stomach, flooding his system. Where ever he looked, Eiji could see a flash of jade eyes and golden hair, sparkling with the light of the sun warmly illuminating the unique colors. Eiji had to close his eyes and look away from the car window, his chest aching with emptiness.

When they arrived at the hotel, Ibe asked if Eiji was doing okay so far. Eiji had simply nodded and retreated into his hotel room. The room was colorful and well furnished, but everything seemed desaturated to Eiji. He half-heartedly changed into his pajamas and left his suitcase unpacked before lifelessly laying on his bed.

Eiji couldn't sleep that night. Everywhere he looked, all he could see Ash. In the streets, where they walked together and ate together and Eiji took pictures of Ash. The bustling crowds they used hide from danger. The rooftops and abandoned buildings Ash and Eiji hid in together, sunlight washing over them in morning, a precious moment frozen in time. During those mornings, when all was quiet and yellow and pink sunlight started seeping in through the window, Ash would sit down by the window and let the sunset wash over him for a moment. Eiji watched as Ash closed his eyes and let his body rest for a moment. The whole world was still in those moments, and the fact that Ash would never get the chance to let himself be free for just a moment ever again was too much for Eiji to bear.

Eiji cried into the hotel room pillow and stayed up all night, even after crying, his body only surrendering to sleep once dawn came tiptoeing through the window and onto his silk sheets.

[]

Eiji stood in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection. He was wearing a white button up shirt underneath a dark blue suit jacket and pants. Eiji's belt, dress shoes, and the suit jacket's buttons were all black. The two buttons on his jacket were buttoned and a dark blue tie peeking out underneath from the jacket. Eiji stares into his eyes, the brown irises seeming almost black with grief and emptiness. He forces his lips into a smile, but the smile looks fake and wrong on his face, so his lips curl downward into a straight line. His heart thumps nervously. Eiji was a ghost version of himself; his heart was lost somewhere between the skyscrapers and the chaos of New York City, and Eiji wasn't sure if he'd ever find it again.

Ibe knocks at Eiji's hotel room door, and Eiji stares at himself for one more moment before heading out.

Ibe and Eiji take off in a cab to the wedding venue. Eiji closes his eyes and leans his head against the window, his eyes aching.

They make it to the venue and even in his phantom-like state, Eiji's eyes widen at the venue.

The wedding was taking place in a huge botanical garden. The air was warm and a gentle breeze made the plants flutter. The whole place was filled to the brim with colorful flowers, trees, and shrubbery in full bloom. People in formal wear were milling about, some of them already seated inside the glass building where the ceremony was about to take place. There were lacy white chairs and white tables full of food. Golden fairy lights hang from the trees and the glass building in which the ceremony would be taking place. The blue sky bloomed overhead, yellow and pink creeping up from the horizon. It was beautiful, and the fact that Ash couldn't see it hurt Eiji's heart.

"Will you be okay on your own?" Ibe asks. Eiji nods and walks away to sit down inside the glass building where the ceremony would be taking place. Inside, rows of chairs were lined up, and at the front was a white archway lined with pink flowers and green leaves. The aisle was lined with bouquets on white podiums. The aisle had red and gold carpet leading up to the archway.

Eiji stares at the ceiling, up at the sky where the blue was starting to make way for warmer hues. The colors of the sunset remind Eiji of dawn, and every time Eiji thinks of dawn, he can't help but think of Ash, and the emptiness wraps itself around his heart again.

Eventually, the guests fill up the empty seats. Ibe sits next to Eiji. Max stands underneath the archway with the priest. Music plays in the background as everyone waits for the bride to walk down the aisle. Max scans the crowd and his eyes light up when he sees Eiji and Ibe. Max waves at Eiji and Eiji returns the wave halfheartedly.

Suddenly, the doors open, and in steps the bride, Jessica. She holds a pink bouquet in her hands as she walks down the aisle. Her dress is white and lacy, and it trails behind her as she walks. Jessica's dirty blonde hair is covered by a translucent white veil with flowery patterns on it. Seeing her walk up to Max and hold his hands as the priest rattles off the usual spiel reminds Eiji of the time when he and Ash had gone to Max and Jessica's home. Max and Jessica had bickered and Ash had said that he was never going to get married. Eiji had agreed that he wouldn't get married either, but now that Ash was...gone...the memory made Eiji tear up. Eiji shoves the feeling down deep inside him, holding in the tears.

Jessica and Max exchange their vows and kiss, and the party begins. Jessica throws her bouquet behind her, and the universe plays a cruel joke on Eiji by making the bouquet drop right into his lap. He stares at the flowers, dumbfounded, before awkwardly smiling at the guests who were looking at him before quickly slipping outside. People start to dig into the food. Music plays from huge speakers outside and people dance to the upbeat music. Eiji sets the bouquet at some random table, his mind pushing the thought of Ash away.

Eiji sees Ibe hug Max and Jessica in the distance. After talking for a bit, they all turn toward Eiji and head to him. Eiji forces his mouth into a smile, already tired of pretending to be okay.

"Eiji!" Max cries, giving Eiji a hug. Eiji stays limp. Max pulls away and pats Eiji on the back. Jessica gives Eiji a hug too, and Eiji remains like a rag doll during her embrace as well.

"Thanks for coming," Jessica says, smiling. Eiji nods, his brain half dead. Her smile fades as she says her next words. "We know it's been...hard for you, and I hope asking you to come wasn't inappropriate. It just felt wrong not to send you an invitation."

"It's okay. I'm glad you guys are able to...be...even after Ash..." Eiji trails off, his voice wavering. He can feel his throat clogging up before he finally musters a single word. "Congratulations."

"We're here for you, Eiji," Max says, placing a hand on Eiji's shoulder. Eiji feels the guilt sink in.

"I didn't want to ruin your..."

"Oh, Eiji, you're not ruining anything," Jessica says.

"I need a minute," Eiji blurts before darting away. They call after him, but he just keeps walking until he realizes he is lost in the garden. Eiji stops and takes a few deep breaths for a moment.

Suddenly, a familiar voice calls his name. Eiji looks up to see a man in a suit with golden hair slicked back and unforgettable jade eyes and all the air in Eiji's lungs rush out of him.

"Eiji, Eiji, it's me, Ash," The man says, stepping toward him. Eiji shakes his in disbelief, his heart pounding. Why was the world so cruel? Did the universe really have to make him hallucinate? Wasn't taking Ash from him cruel enough? Still, a little voice inside Eiji whispered that this wasn't a hallucination.

"Ash," Eiji whispers, his voice broken and small. "Is it really you?"

"Yes," He says, stepping closer. Eiji reaches out his hand, gently cupping the man's cheek. His skin is smooth and soft and silky and real, and he tilts his head to the side and leans into the touch. Ash rests his hand on top of Eiji's as he closes his jade eyes and enjoys the feeling of Eiji's hand against his skin. Eiji reaches his other hand up to hold Ash's face, and his insides turn to mush.

"It really is you," Eiji's voice cracks. A tidal wave of emotion surges up within Eiji and he collapses against Ash. Ash yelps as Eiji clings to the back of his black suit jackets and buries his face into his chest, sobbing hysterically. Ash instinctively wraps his arms around Eiji and hold him tight to keep him from falling. Ash feels Eiji's tears start to soak his white dress shirt, Eiji's sobs barely muffled.

"Eiji," Ash stammers, flustered by his reaction. Ash gently pushes Eiji away from his chest to look at Eiji's face. Eiji's face is red and scrunched up, tears streaming down his face as he hyperventilates. Ash uses his thumbs to gently swipe Eiji's tears away, his sweet gesture doing nothing to stifle the waterworks.

"Y-You h-h-have...no idea...h-how glad...I-I-I am that y-you...are a-alive!" Eiji cries, sputtering and stammering, taking in and out many sharp breaths. To Ash, the sight of Eiji so much because of him made him feel like someone had grabbed his heart and crushed it in their fist. Ash pulls Eiji close and holds him tight, Eiji's face pressed against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I couldn't contact you sooner, Eiji," Ash says quietly, nuzzling Eiji's inky black locks. "I really was stabbed, but I survived. Someone helped me fake my death so that I could be with you without putting you in danger."

Eiji grips Ash tightly, terrified that if he lets go, Ash will slip away from him once again. Eiji cries harder into Ash's shoulder and Ash gently rubs Eiji's back.

"Sh, it's okay, Eiji. I'm here for good," Ash murmurs, pressing gentle kiss into Eiji's hair. Eiji trembles in Ash's arms. They stay together, holding each other even after Eiji's sobs have died down into small sniffles. Ash leans down and whispers into Eiji's ear.

"I promise I'll never leave you again."

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh I've never been to a "white" wedding before. My only experience with weddings involve Indian weddings, so I have no idea what happens in white people weddings. Google wasn't very helpful either, so I'm sorry if this is inaccurate!
> 
> Leave a comment or a kudos if you enjoyed :)


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